


Angel's Lair

by LooneyZampy



Category: Death Note
Genre: Angst, Behind the Scenes, Crimes & Criminals, Drama, Drama & Romance, Dreams and Nightmares, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Platonic Romance, Psychological Trauma, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-10 01:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3270890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LooneyZampy/pseuds/LooneyZampy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Down, down in hell, Sayu is held prisoner. Or so she thinks before she sees an angel. Or at least, somebody she mistakes for an angel, in her drug-induced state... On Mello's side, the fact that somebody in this world has called him angel triggers the beginning of a memory buried a long time ago and he intends to follow the thread by paying closer attention to the one that he keeps hostage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A prisoner of Heaven and Hell

**Chapter 1 : A Prisoner of Heaven and Hell**

  
  
At first, she was terrorized. Brought to this unknown place, surrounded by people who could only mean her harm, weak and chained. Alone to face the wrath of those who feared no system and no law. Alone face to the most dangerous people in the world.

  
That day started like any other day. She got ready, she went to school, she got the best marks in her class for the last test she had, she talked with her friends... And then everything changed. In a split-second, her whole life took a new turn. She was coming back home, texting a girl from her class, when two large hands grabbed her from behind. Another pair of hands approached her, grabbed her head and injected something in the vein in her neck. Then everything went dark.

 

* * *

  
  
When she woke up, she was already far from her home. Her sight was still blurry and she could barely make up voices talking around her. She was surrounded by foggy shapes and echoes. Even her body seemed weak and if it wasn't for the ropes holding her attached to the chair, she would fall. At least attached like this, she wasn’t at the same level as the feet of the foggy creatures. Her mouth was duct-taped, but she wasn't blindfolded. Nonetheless, she still couldn't really see anything because the world around her was plunged into a mist where colors and shadows fought for supremacy. The noise surrounding her was unbearable, but after a while, she was able to make out some words. At one moment, she also managed to make out the sound of a picture being taken.

  
The sound of the camera woke up her senses some more and she managed to distinguish the words "we" and "have" and "your" and "daughter". "We have your daughter". "We have your daughter!" And "Yagami"... She also heard "Yagami"! They were talking to her father! She raised her head and tried to scream, but being duct-taped, she barely made any sound. She could now see some silhouettes standing out in the mist, but nothing more. What drug did they inject into her body to take such a long time to wear off? And even the shapes and silhouettes in the mist didn’t stay where they were moments ago. Right now, she couldn't even make up shapes anymore because the room started turning around her again. She lowered her head. This was all painful... But not as painful as what would come, she thought in panic as she felt her chair being dragged away. She wanted to scream once again, but she was weak... So weak... And so, so tired...

  
"Take her to the cellar for today, after that we'll see." a voice said. "But keep an eye on her! We don't want her to die like the last one!"

  
The last one died? The last one... Died?! Now she was panicking even more! The fear made her heart race and she quickly inhaled and exhaled a couple of times through the nose. The duct-tape hindered her breathing and she thought, it was only a matter of seconds before she chokes. When she didn’t die after more than three entire seconds that in her state appeared as long as hours, she found questions racing in her brain along with the multicoloured lines and sparkles of light. Who were these people? What did they want from her? What were they going to do to her? What has she ever done to anyone to deserve this? And that voice... She could clearly hear the words pronounced, but the voices were still distorted in her head... This one sounded almost inhuman. And one day, she thought, when she will be able to see and hear normally again, she will never be able to guess to which one of her captors this voice belonged...

 

* * *

  
  
Heaven and hell teamed up in her head. The images she saw were one moment reassuring and beautiful, but the next one they were terrifying and expressing her worst fears. One moment she was running on the green meadows, where no fear or pain existed, the other one she was dragged to the depths of hell by demonic creatures who were scratching and biting at her flesh while she was still alive, still holding to that one branch that was miraculously hanging in the nothingness, hoping that it would save her from the eternal damnation.

  
What the HELL was in that drug they gave her?

  
Sayu felt as if she was already there for hours, the images from her nightmares mixing with the more reassuring dreams she imposed herself with the remaining of her strength and optimism, mixing once again with the images and the sounds from the real world, or at least with what she perceived from the real world. At moments, the world seemed to start to make sense around her, but at other moments, she was starting to lose herself again, drifting away, once again, to a world where hell and heaven make one and where dreams and nightmares coexist. But as in dreams, what seems to be lasting hours actually lasts only for seconds, and from the moment a picture was taken of her and sent to her father to now, only a couple of minutes have elapsed. She was now in the cellar, still attached to the chair.

 

* * *

  
  
A sound of boots distinguished itself in the mist. She clearly heard the soles ring on the floor, coming closer and closer to her. She also heard voices, but the words weren't clear and all the sounds seemed to mingle in a sort of a wave-like sound. She was surrounded by a wild and blurred ocean of noises. Only the sound of the boots on the floor remained clear.

  
She was now in heaven.

  
Or at least, in the more heaven-like phase of the drug effect. The ocean of noises surrounding her was no more composed of terrifying sounds that seemed to come from the mouth of hell, but the voices seemed to have melted in a more harmonious melody. Yes, melody... The sound of boots was the metronome... And it became stretched in time... The images in front of her paled away and what she saw next was a mosaic of colors. Colors dancing in front of her, reminding her of the light that comes through stained glass in the churches... And the smell... That was what confirmed that she was now in heaven. The oppressive smell of the cellar was slowly replaced by the sweet sweet perfume of Heaven, coming closer and closer... From the stories she's been told, Hell would smell of fire and burning flesh. And what she smelled now was the beautiful perfume of chocolate. Heaven would definitely smell of chocolate.

  
We shall not forget that the drugged state in which Sayu was plunged now is comparable to the state between sleep and wakefulness. That particular state when dreams intermingle with real life and slow down the time. Hence, what may seem as lasting over a long period took only a couple of minutes in real time. Dreams have that particular ability to distort time, to twist it and elongate it just before our mind, to confuse us and make us wonder how long have we been in the state of trance and how has it affected the real world that we come from.

  
The heaven and hell phases through which Sayu went could have seemed to last for hours or at least minutes, but in reality, they were just seconds. Moments of time. Even though, in her case, who would count those phases in matters of hours and minutes? They would be counted in matter of "periods of time", because it's the only thing that would make sense anymore. Every phase that came and went brought different visions and emotions. And at every switch, every change, Sayu would feel a bit nauseous, but the feeling of sickness in her stomach would quickly be ignored in favor of the effect that the drug had on the rest of her senses. Still, this phase in which she was now was the best one. This time, she didn't want to puke. This time, nothing hurt. The melodies of the voices were almost lulling her and only the slow (or at least what she perceived as slow) and steady sound of the boot soles kept her awake. The beautiful ring of the boot soles, coming closer and closer to her, ringing like a bell, and bringing more and more heaven to her with every step. Heaven had a scent of chocolate.

 

* * *

  
  
Mello was now close to his hostage. She was drowsy and it was clear that she was still under the effect of drugs by the way she was swaying in her chair and by the vacant look in her eyes.  
  
"Just how much did you give her?" Mello asked his helpers.

  
"Enough for the road" Roy chuckled "And... Added up a bit more as we were arriving here. Just to be sure."

  
Mello took the head of the hostage in his hands and made her face him. Her look was completely vacant. He bended over a bit and squinted his eyes as he came closer to the level of hers. The girl’s eyes were blurred and foggy, but yet, some almost inhuman reflection was in them. A moment later, her pupil widened so much that it almost covered the iris. The drugs were still having effect on her. Still holding her head, he absentmindedly bit on the corner of his chocolate. Before he even managed to draw said piece of chocolate in his mouth with his tongue, he noticed a change in the girl's eyes: the pupils, still wide, seemed to have acquired some depth. They were no longer plain and glassy and no longer dead. Then, she smiled.


	2. Of Monsters and Angels

_Chapter 2 : Of Monsters and Angels_  
  
The girl was smiling. Then, she started chuckling. Mello still held her head. Was she laughing at him? No... She wouldn't dare. He released his hold on her. She let her head hang, but was still chuckling. Or did she start to cry? It was pretty unclear... She was shaking. The effect of the drugs was still too strong on her and Mello was growing impatient. He bit on his bar of chocolate, looking around.

"Too much" he said without really looking at anyone. "You gave her too much."

"Well... We did what should have been done..." muttered Skyer, but Mello didn't seem amused.

"Yes, and she's still under the effect. Tell me, how do you want me to do anything with her while she's like this?"

"Oh, you meant to..." giggled Roy with, but Mello's glare stopped him.

"She's Chief Yagami's daughter and she may know the Kira. She may even be...  _related_  to Kira." Mello's tone of voice dropped by the end of the sentence, almost whispering the last part.

"Well... We just have to wait until the effects wear off. And then... You can do whatever you want." stated Roy almost apologetically.

Mello bit off another piece of his chocolate eyeing his hostage questioningly. His gaze occasionally wandered around, pausing now on Roy, now on Skyer, now back on the still shaking hostage. There was no reason to feel nervous, he repeated to himself. Up till now, everything was going according to plan. Yagami shall come looking for his daughter in a couple of days and they would receive the Death Note. Yes. Everything was going just fine. Just fine... But there was more to this. He felt that they - that he - could get even more out of this situation... But what? Certainly, he will be content with what they'll already get, but... There is a probability that there may be something more... Could this girl know things that they don't? Things that they could need? Things that could make him take the upper hand, the step above the one on which currently stands Near? Maybe... Maybe if he...

He bit off another piece of his chocolate and realized that he almost finished the entire bar. He should go and get some more if he wants his brain to continue functioning normally. He looked back at the hostage. She wasn't shaking anymore and head was still hanging. She probably fell asleep.

"Um..." started Skyer "We can keep an eye on her 'till she's aware again. It won't take long... We can give her a few slaps if she doesn't come to her senses soon enough..."

"I'll go up and get some more chocolate. Call me when she wakes up."

* * *

Sayu was not asleep. Sayu was in heaven. Up till now at least... Sayu saw an angel. Sayu smiled at the angel's face. She was dead, killed by all the fear, the unbearable fear that consumed her in the moments when she could feel no heaven anymore, the fear that grabbed her limbs and dragged her to infinity, and infinity was filled with pain and suffering. But she saw an angel! An angel who smelled of chocolate and who would take her to heaven when the time comes. It was a nice thought... And then she thought about her parents. They would learn how she had died and they would be devastated… Despite the happiness that she was feeling up here in heaven, the thought of leaving the one's she loves behind made her feel guilty and chuckle nervously. And she couldn't stop it. She chuckled, she cried, and then she was cold.

Cold...

She was shivering with cold. Cold that hurt her both physically and mentally, cold that brought her back to reality. The scent of heaven weakened and the smell of chocolate was no longer consuming the air, being reduced just to one tiny portion of various - mostly damp and unpleasant - smells composing the odor of the place where she was. However, her shivers did not get her back to the nightmarish visions that she expected to experience after the heavenly ones, like the time before. They brought her someplace worse. Someplace  _real_. She was finally able to see. She could now clearly see her knees, and the soil, and a pair of boots. The boots went away, taking with them the last remnants of the perfume of chocolate, leaving a void in the air. A void, filled with nothingness. It was as if the last ray of sun decided to leave this world. It was only then that Sayu realized that she had stopped shaking.

For a couple of minutes, she felt nothing. Then, slowly but persistently, as a vile herb that grew inside her body,  _fear_. It had started in the place that always takes the beating of every negative emotion, in her stomach. Then it spread through her chest, filling her lungs, stealing the place needed for breath. It climbed up her throat, threatening to come out of her mouth and out of her nose, threatening to make her vomit the vile feeling of dread. But she didn't. She swallowed all her fear, all her pain. However, she could not hold back her tears. Her eyes were not powerful enough to withhold the bitter pain and the inhuman fear that was consuming her.

Unfortunately, her tears did not stay unnoticed. Somebody grabbed the back of her head again and made her look up.

In front of her were standing two large men. Two monstrous figures. She recognized the two men who kidnapped her. Everything made sense now. Everything, but the reason  _why_. They kidnapped her, they drugged her and they brought her here. She never saw heaven and she never saw hell. What she saw earlier that day were only drug-induced hallucinations. In her hallucinations, they would look like monsters, but now that she could clearly see, she knew that they were something worse: they were  _people_. And they were huge. They could crush her with one strike; they could make her head fall of her shoulders with one well-placed blow. They could tear her down to pieces with their bare hands. And they could do much more. Much worse.

The panic got the better of her and Sayu started screaming. One of them slapped her. So she screamed more. She started imagining the worse, she thought about how they were going to beat her, to torture her, to rape her, to kill her, about how they were monsters in human form and about how she was never this terrified in her entire life. She was screaming on the top of her lungs, she was screaming so much that she forgot to count the slaps that she received. She felt them, but not individually. She felt every slap like just another wave in the ocean of pain that was never going to end. They would torture her, and she would die, and she would never even realize what she did to deserve that. She screamed and cried so much that she was not able to distinguish the words that the men were shouting at her. If she was going to die, let her just die then and there, so she would not have to suffer through worse. It was only when a distinctive scent of chocolate managed to get through all the pain and reach her nostrils that she calmed down. She felt a final slap delivered by one of the two men, (then saw said men being hit on the head by the other one), but the pain was bearable since what to her was a ray of light in darkness entered the room again.

She raised her head and turned it in the direction from which the sweet scent of chocolate was coming. Her eyes widened. Was she hallucinating again? The perfume seemed to emanate from the figure on the other side of the room. The angel! The angel she saw in her hallucinations! He was walking towards her. He was wearing dark clothes, but they seemed to be shining with an otherworldly glow, and his hair looked as if it was made of pure gold. Maybe it was the lights, she thought. Or maybe she was still under the effects of drugs... Or maybe, just maybe, he was a real angel. After all, it was he who emitted that scent of chocolate that would make even hell smell like heaven.

* * *

Mello was busy licking his newly open chocolate bar when he noticed movement on the small television that let the entire mafia crew see what was happening downstairs. Snyder was the only one who appeared fully focused on the events downstairs the whole time, the rest of the mafia being too busy with their games, their whores, or in the case of Mello, his chocolate.

"Mello, she's woken up!" said Snyder in what sounded like an unexplainably amused tone.

Mello saw Roy and Skyer hit the girl a couple of times. She was screaming. There was no sound, but it was obvious. Mello jumped from the sofa, breaking the huge piece of chocolate that melted while he was licking it and tossed it into his mouth. He wanted to hurry towards the hostage, but ended up coming back for another bar of chocolate. What he already had in his hands wasn't going to be enough. He sprinted back again to the doors, earning some well-hidden chuckles from the mafia boss.

"Don't fall down the stairs!" Rod Ross yelled after him as Mello was running to the cellar.

The young man didn't even look back.

When he reached the room in which Sayu was held prisoner, something unexpected happened. He heard her screaming as he was coming down the stairs, yes, but as soon as he entered the room, she stopped. Skyer hit her one more time, which was unnecessary and could reveal itself to be counter-productive, but she didn't start screaming back again. Roy hit Skyer on the back of the head, which was probably supposed to mean that he shouldn't have hit Sayu when she stopped screaming. When Mello turned towards the girl, he saw her eyes deeply buried in his own. She didn't even blink. His presence in this room seemed to have turned her into stone. She wasn't moving; she looked as if she wasn't even breathing. She was stunned and almost scary in her immobility. Mello started walking towards her. His last prisoner was stunned with fear when he first saw Mello too. Granted, this was not the first time that the girl saw him, but the last time - which was only some fifteen minutes ago - she was probably too drugged to realize. He liked the fact that he looked impressive and intimidating. He was able to make people fear him. Yet, this was the first time that somebody stared at him this way. When the others stared at him, they stared with fear, or begging for something. Nobody was ever as insistent as she was. Maybe she was still under the effect of drugs? Her eyes were deep and widened as he walked closer to her. He took a bite of his chocolate. The crack of it echoed through the silence.

At the exact moment as he grabbed her by her shirt in order to question her his way, she started breathing heavily. What was she playing at? He tried to ask her a question, but before even a sound escaped his lips, she started breathing deeper, louder. Hyperventilating. Mello didn't like this and he already waited for too long for her to give signs of cooperation. What was the point of this behavior? She could be afraid, but being afraid wouldn't make her breathe as if she was on the verge of an orgasm. Or rather on the verge of vanishing? Whatever it was, it was annoying. Was she toying with them? Trying to see for how long she could delay the interrogation. She was frustrating. Mello let go off her shirt and glanced at Roy and Skyer. Skyer interpreted it as a sign and slapped the girl, shouting at her to calm down. Sayu, on the contrary, added crying to hyperventilating. Roy came in, starting to shake her, threatening that they'll cut off her tongue if she doesn't cooperate. As a result, Sayu started screaming again.

Mello was getting sick of this entire situation. He pushed Roy away, deciding to shut her up himself, no matter what it takes, but as he grabbed her shirt again, telling her to be quiet, she screamed something else. She screamed the word "angel".

"ANGEL!..." she screamed again, and her eyes buried themselves into Mello's one more time. "An...gel..."

She was still shaking and sobbing. Mello looked as unfazed as ever, even though deep inside, he was slightly confused. He was still holding her by her shirt, his face close to hers.

"Angel..." this time, she smiled. "You came back. You will save me, right?"

Her voice was weak and cracked and she was smiling through the tears. Mello hoped that she didn't lose her mind in the process. Could she have snapped so quickly? Or was this another trick of hers? He moved closer, trying to examine her face more precisely, trying to notice whether she would show a tic, something that could explain why she was behaving the way she did.

"You smell of chocolate."

She looked away from his eyes for a moment. She noticed that he wore a rosary around his neck. She let her gaze run briefly through his face before setting on his eyes again.

"You  _are_  an angel" she stated, as if she was certain of it. Her voice was still weak and barely above a whisper

"You won't hurt me, will you? You look like an angel..." she cracked another smile. "You'll stay with me, won't you?"

Mello released her and stepped back. Skyer and Roy exchanged glances. Now she looked more panicked. Mello moved away, as the remnants of her short smile turned into a suddenly terrified grimace. Mello turned his back to her and started walking towards the door.

"Bring her to my room!" he ordered.

Sayu did not hear that. Sayu didn't hear anything but the blood pulsating through her ears. She was terrified once again.

"Angel?" she tried to call back, but only saw him disappearing behind the door. The panic was seizing her more and more.

"ANGEL!" she screamed, tears running down her face "ANGEL! ANGEL!"

The door closed.


	3. Shackles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody... I haven't been here for a long...long... LONG time. I am so sorry... I hope that reading the rest of this story makes you forgive my extremely long absence
> 
> x
> 
> LooneyZampy

The two large men that Sayu now knew were called Roy and Skyer didn't untie her rope to bring her to Mello's room. They were carrying her altogether with the chair. Not knowing where they were taking her, Sayu found herself sobbing all the way up. And then she felt it. Thirst. Thirst stronger than any she ever felt before. Thirst that made the world in front of her eyes move as if it was taken by seizures, thirst that made that same, twisted world slowly disappear. The universe faded to black and all that remained was thirst.

"Wa...ter..." she moaned.

Did the two men even hear her? They just continued to walk. She felt that they were climbing the stairs, but she couldn't see anything. The thirst has made her other senses go numb. And it seemed that the stairs would never end.

"Water... Please..." her voice was barely a whisper now.

After what seemed an infinity later, the chair was put on a firm surface. Sayu could only think about one thing.

"Water..." she sobbed "Water..."

Something was brought to her lips. Out of that, a cold liquid was poured in her mouth. Progressively, the world came back to life in front of her eyes. The bottle was taken away from her. The first thing that she saw then was the face of her angel.

She started to cry.

His name was Mello. That was how they called him. They said "Mello, what do we do now?" Mello replied "Bring two pairs of handcuffs. The ones with the longest chain."

Then he turned towards Sayu and ordered her to stop crying.

She couldn't. She couldn't stop. So he stood up, took a knife that was standing on the desk in the room and came closer to her. She tried to stop crying then, but she failed again. He approached his armchair to the wooden chair on which she was sitting and made her face him. For a couple of moments, he was looking at her, thinking of what to do. He then proceeded to get on his knees and to cut the rope that was holding her legs attached. He did the same with the rope that was holding her hands. Sayu still didn't move from the chair. The tears in her eyes seemed to have frozen. Mello installed himself in front of her. He looked as if he was about to start talking, but then he stopped himself. Sayu didn't move. She was silently awaiting the angel's next move. He seemed to have been studying her. He then grabbed her right arm and pulled her towards him. She ended up on the angel's lap, his arms around her. She clutched to the fabric of his shirt, feeling that if she let go, something terrible would happen to her. But not while she was there. Not when she was guarded by the angel. Right now, she was perfectly safe.

This was all just part of the plan. Almost. Almost all. A new idea just popped in his head. The first thing that he wanted was beating Near. That was the main reason why he was doing this. The second thing that he wanted was the Death Note. The Death Note that Soichiro Yagami would bring him for sparing his daughter. The third thing that he wanted was unmasking the Kira. The fourth thing that he wanted was discovering who was hiding behind the name of L. Owning the Death Note, discovering Kira and the second L were all parts of his plan to beat Near. Finally, there was a fifth thing that Mello wanted. A fifth thing, which he discovered just recently. A new idea that popped in his head less than an hour ago.

Angel...

Why'd she say that? And why did it make him feel the way he did? There was something in that word, something else than the obvious. Sayu was hallucinating; she might have seen things... But when she pronounced the word, it woke something in Mello; there was a string that has been pulled. And right now, it was important to discover what it meant. A person doesn't feel the way he did when she called him an angel if there isn't a reason to it... And he had that feeling in his gut, the feeling that you have when you're close to discovering something important, when you're close to discovering a key element to... Something. He didn't know what it was yet. But he will be damned if he loses this string. Therefore, he must continue to play along. He will be the girl's angel, or at least, he will try his best. If she keeps seeing him that way, then maybe... Then maybe he will get the key which will help him understand. At the same time, he did feel a bit bad for the girl. And when he spoke to her father, he told him the truth: he wasn't interested in their lives. The only thing that he wanted was the Death Note.

And here he was now, holding a scared girl in his arms, listening to her sobbing into his chest. It felt strangely good to hold someone in his arms this way... He never did it before... This gave him the sense of some new form of power.

Skyer entered the room at that moment. If Mello had paid attention, he would have heard Skyer when he was still in the hall, for the rattling of the chains would have given him away. When Skyer entered, if he wasn't as distracted as he usually was, he would see Mello with Sayu in his arms.

"Here's what you asked Mello." Skyer said without even looking around him "Roy is downstairs so I'm bringing the... Oh!"

When he finally noticed Mello holding Sayu, Skyer's face lightened with a huge grin. Mello signaled him with his eyes to put the chains on the armrest of his armchair and to get away. Skyer did so hastily, still smiling. He was looking now at Mello, now at Sayu, clearly misinterpreting the situation. Mello let him misinterpret all he wanted. In the heads of the mafia members, whatever Skyer was thinking right now certainly made more sense than his actual plan of discovering why being called an angel did what it did to him.

"Have fun, boss!" Skyer winked as he left the room.

"Close the door." Mello ordered.

Skyer obeyed and Mello could hear him laughing as he closed the door. Skyer was so happy that it was irritating. Well... At least he brought Mello what he was asked to bring.

Mello looked at the being that was now breathing more steadily in his arms. He felt her hands on his shirt, her body pressed against his. She was his age, and she was not ugly to look at, even now... Still holding her with one arm, Mello grabbed his rosary with his other hand. Then he grabbed the chains.

Sayu felt something closing around her right hand with a metallic sound. She lowered her head and saw that she was handcuffed. She looked with distrust into the angel's... Mello's... Eyes. The expression on his face didn't show any emotions. Still not leaving her with his eyes, he closed the other shackle bracelet around his own hand. He showed the chain linking them to her.

"This is to make sure you don't try anything stupid." he said "Now, do you want to go to the bathroom? Or do you want to take a shower, maybe? No matter what you do, you're chained to me and I'll be close to you. You cannot escape." he tried to keep his tone low and to make himself as clear as possible.

Sayu was silent for a few moments, still sitting on his lap

"I know you're not an angel." she said quietly, looking at his eyes "Your name is Mello, right? I heard your men call you that way... Mello... Why am I here?"

What she said stirred Mello, pinched him, bothered him. He stood up without even realizing that he did it and she was forced to do the same.

"You are not the one asking questions, Sayu Yagami." he said, struggling the urge to utter some menacing threat.

Sayu looked away.

"I'm sorry" she muttered.

She was starting to be afraid of him, but maybe not in the way that Mello hoped. Mello suddenly realized that he almost... almost shouted at her. Great. He usually likes his hostages to be afraid of him, but this time, it wouldn't be going along with his plan. He needs to be careful now. His plan mustn't be disrupted. He sighed.

"It doesn't matter. Now sit down."

Mello really had to try and sound as kind as possible. All part of the plan... Only this time... But yet, he had to make it clear that he was the one giving orders and asking questions around here. When she sat down, he put his hand on the rail of the chair. He bent over so his head would be slightly above Sayu's.

"Now listen. I want you to answer all of my questions honestly. I will know it if you're lying." He paused. He should speak more gently. He mustn't destroy the remnants of the positive image that she had of him.

"Tell me everything, Sayu. You know that I won't hurt you, right? I'm not mean, you know. But this was all necessary." He was starting to get better. It was going fine. Her eyes were glistening again; he must have been doing something right. Good.

"I needed to do this so that Kira would be captured. Do you understand?" he continued "Isn't that your father's aim as well? Tell me, Sayu Yagami, what do you know about your father's work?"

"I... I don't know much" she started "Well... I know that he's working on the Kira case. With several other..."

"Do you know anything about the Death Note?" he interrupted.

Sayu looked confused.

"No, I've never heard of it." she answered.

Suddenly, Mello pushed the back of her chair and Sayu was balancing on only two of the chair's legs. Of course, even if Mello let the chair fall, Sayu wouldn't be hurt that much, but the aim of it was more psychological, having her feel that she must cooperate, for he was the one having power over her.

"I swear I don't know!" she said with a more panicked voice "My dad doesn't talk about his work! I barely see him anyways! He and my brother are always absent!"

Mello put her chair in its initial position again.

"Tell me about your brother." he said.

"Well... He's... He's... He's a genius." her voice became softer at the mention of her brother and Mello noticed her eyes beaming with tenderness "he's been a good brother to me. He..." she looked up to Mello's eyes

"Sayu... You have to cooperate. I swear to God that I won't hurt you, and that I have no interest in hurting your family." he said before he instinctively seized his rosary. "But you have to tell me everything."

He looked at his rosary. He was turning it in his hand, playing with it.

"Tell me, do you believe in God, Sayu Yagami?" he asked.

"Um... Well... Ye... Yes, I guess that I do." she replied.

"Good. So you would agree with me that only God has the right to decide who will live and who will die."

"Y... Yes."

"And Kira has no right to do the job that only God should do, right?"

"R... Right."

"Good. Now do you understand how important it is to catch him?"

"I do."

"So you will have to cooperate with us. After all, our aim is the same as your father's. Your aim is my aim. We all want to catch Kira and to reestablish the natural order of things. You will cooperate with us."

It was more a statement than a question.

"I will cooperate." she replied calmly "I will tell you everything."

He sat in front of her and rested his elbows on his knees.

"Up till recently," she started "my dad was always home on the weekends. He was also able to go on vacation..."

"Up till recently... Up till Kira happened?" he asked.

Sayu's father was working in the Japanese Task Force on the Kira case. Mello had his own suspicions when it came to the Task Force. They always seemed a little bit too close to arresting Kira, but never close enough. And it seemed to have been the case all the time. He was suspicious of them. What if they were actually working with Kira? What if Kira was one of them? That thought probably also crossed Near's head... Was Near suspecting the second L too? The real L, his mentor, his inspiration, had managed to locate Kira, to /figure out/ that there was a mysterious killer who could kill people only by knowing their face and their name, and had also managed to discover the way in which Kira proceeded to kill people. L was a genius. This second L was a genius too; there was no doubt at that. But he seemed less focused on actually capturing Kira and somehow more focused on establishing the image of an indestructible, almost God-like Kira, from what it seemed to Mello. If he was really trying to catch Kira, why was there no advancement in the case? And yet, in order to get to that position, he must have become really close to L. Close enough to... Actually learn his real name? Was it possible? Could Kira no other than the second L himself? And he might have something to do with L's death... L wouldn't have left them and died just like that. He was killed by Kira. That was the only possibility.

"Since he started working on the Kira case," Sayu continued, "he's never at home. He would come back late and immediately fall asleep. Once he didn't come for two months... Light..."

She stopped there for a bit. She felt as if something pinched at her heart and her eyes became watery. She dried them with the back of her right hand. Mello waited.

"Tell me a bit more about that Light," he said.

"Light is my older brother. The pride and honor of our family. He came first at the university entry exams. He's a genius, he's the brilliant son... I... I was always the... The "good enough" kid..." she marked a small pause "I shouldn't complain though, he helped me through so many times with my school work... But unlike him, I'm not able to enter one of the best universities in the city... I'm not... I'm not the brilliant one. But I don't care. He's my brother and I love him. My always brilliant brother..."

Mello was looking at her, trying to conceal the amazement. Her voice didn't hide any spite, any jealousy. She spoke as if she was perfectly all right to always be second in line, to always have someone above her. She accepted this situation a long time ago. She accepted to live in her brother's shadow. Was she complaining to him right now? Was she displeased by this situation? Was she just pretending that she didn't care? She was. She definitely was. If she didn't care, she wouldn't have felt the need to say it.

"You say you don't care?" he asked, and Sayu was surprised to see a smirk on his lips. It was the first time she saw him amused.

"So, you say you don't care... But let's be honest, Sayu Yagami... You never envied him? Not even a bit?"

Sayu seemed to be uncomfortable. At first she was avoiding his gaze, but when he put a hand on her chair - a gesture she misinterpreted, thinking that he would tilt her chair backwards again or shake it - she started talking again.

"It's not a good thing to be jealous of someone you love!" she almost shouted "Of course I'd want to see how it is to be the first... To be the best... To be the genius, to make my family proud, to be the smart one... But... But he's my brother! Whatever his achievements are, I feel as if it was me! Because I love him!"

She seems sincere, Mello thought. He didn't want to interrupt her now though, he had the feeling that she was at the point of telling him something important... Without even realizing how important it was. And he always trusted his gut in such situations. His gut never failed him.

"Besides," she said cocking her head on the side, "he used to spend way too much time up in his room. Now, he lives with his girlfriend... I remember, when he started working with the Task Force, he started coming back home late, like dad..."

Suddenly, Mello felt the puzzle in his head making a picture. It was her brother. Ninety percent of chances of Kira being her brother. A genius working with the Task Force. Working with L...

"He's the youngest member of Japanese police to ever work on such a case! Even before, when he was still in high school, he helped them solve some cases," she continued her musings.

She definitely dissipated all Mello's uncertainties and confirmed that her brother was the one when she finally said:

"When we were younger, he told me he wanted to be like L."

She really loves her brother, thought Mello while waiting in the bathroom. Sayu was in the shower, the curtains were hiding her, and he was inside, waiting for her to finish. And he loves her too, it came to him... Their last hostage didn't die by the hands of his men, but was murdered by Kira. Nobody but the Japanese police knew that he was held prisoner. It must have been someone from the inside. And right now, Sayu was still alive, healthy enough and taking a shower less than ten feet from where he was standing. Kira didn't want to murder his own little sister. It made perfect sense. Mello raised his eyes from looking at his feet and directed his gaze towards the shower curtain. He could not see Sayu, but he could notice her silhouette. He smiled, mentally congratulating himself for being kind enough for her not to feel uneasy taking a shower while he's around.

"Principles," he'd said, holding his rosary in his hand in front of her. "I have my beliefs and I won't hurt you."

How ridiculous. He did have his beliefs, that's true, but he wasn't the example of a man of this sort of beliefs, or quite a few people that he killed wouldn't be dead... Or at least, not by his hand... But he did believe in God, as much as he believed that there were some sins worse than the others. Laying a finger on a girl, hurting her, dirtying her always seemed disgusting to him. Even at the orphanage, when he'd often fight with other children, he never hit a girl. It seemed low to him.

"I have to pee first" was her response, and he let her.

When she was about to take a shower, he insisted for entering in the bathroom as well. He'd let her enter in the bathtub and take her clothes off there, behind the curtain, if that makes her feel safer. Before she entered, he leaned on the wall and laid his eyes on an invisible bug on the floor. He mechanically took his phone from his pocket (it didn't seem like it was in a pocket, thought Sayu to herself, but she entered in the bathtub before he'd noticed that she was staring at his pants, afraid that he may read her mind and guess that she was wondering how it was possible to fit anything in there) and called Roy.

"The girl will need some new clothes," he'd said.

And here he was now, waiting for her to finish her shower, waiting for somebody to bring her new clothes.

It was finally one of Rod Ross' prostitutes who came. Strawberry, they called her. All the prostitutes who visited mafia members had aliases instead of names. Granted, it was usually surnames reminding of fruit, sugar-stuffed foods and jewelry, or sometimes even animals (Mello found the animal aliases disturbing, they were always feline animals and he didn't exactly understand how one would find an actual lion or an actual cat sexy), but as he himself wasn't known by his actual name either, he found himself having great respect of them solely due to the fact that they had aliases. He never touched one though. There was something that seemed unsanitary about putting his tongue in a place where Rod Ross' or Snyder's, tongue had been. But he sometimes talked to them. He was always surprised when one of them displayed an enviable quantity of knowledge. Girls of their standing didn't really have the reputation of being particularly highly educated women, but there were always surprises. Besides, many had had a hard life and have learned the ways of the society. So talking to them was fun. And Strawberry has always been particularly nice with him, he thought. Especially on one occasion, when he was alone in his room and she came to visit him... She smelled nice, he remembers, she sat on the bed besides him, and talked to him. Then she started touching him, moving her hands along his body... When she wanted to untie his pants, he stopped her. He said that it was nice to talk to her and bid her goodnight. Strawberry was nice, but she was what she was and there was no changing that. Besides, he had some principles and even dying a virgin seemed a better option than to be touched by a prostitute.

"Is she all right?" asked Strawberry after posing some clean clothes on the bed.

Then immediately "Oh, sorry, I shouldn't ask, it's none of my business," while staring directly at Mello's eyes, making him uncomfortable lest he tells her.

"Why do you care?" he asked in a voice low enough that Sayu wouldn't hear it in her shower "You do care for her and you've seen her only for a few moments. Why?"

"She seems delicate... She isn't used to bad treatment. She was treated harshly by some of your men."

"I was treated harshly too, all my life," he replied.

"So was I," Strawberry said, and it led to a short, uncomfortable pause.

Mello wanted to tell her to go away and to mind her own business, but it was Strawberry, and she was one of the few people who ever treated him with tenderness. She was very soft, but not in an unnerving way. And when he made it clear that he wasn't interested in her in a sexual way, she stopped flirting with him. Her closeness was more of a motherly type, if you could say so about a woman who slept with all of his fellow mafia men. But for someone like Mello, she was good enough.

"I brought her here in my room, she will sleep in a comfortable place, I allow her to have a shower, and right now I'll ask you to bring us some food. I don't intend to torture her." the tone of his voice was still low.

Strawberry smiled.

"You're not a bad man, Mello," she said before walking out.

Shortly after Strawberry walked out of the bathroom and out of the room, Mello noticed Sayu's arm going past the shower curtain, trying to grab the towel on the wall. Mello took it and shoved it behind the curtain. She replied with a weak "Thank you". Then she waited for longer than it would normally take to dry herself

"Strawberry was genius enough to pose your clothes on the bed instead of simply bringing them here, so stop waiting for me to hand them to you while you're in a bathtub" he said.

Sayu stepped out of the bathtub. Once clean and refreshed, her face looked much younger and prettier. She blushed upon catching his eye.

"It's alright, Sayu," he said with a sigh.

He turned around and pulled on the chains to make her follow, but stopped when he heard her chuckle.

"What is it?" he asked.

"You called me Sayu. Not Sayu Yagami. Just Sayu."

It seemed to make her happy, for some reason.

"Thank you for being kind to me," she said more quietly and Mello felt a strange tingling in his stomach.

"Time to sleep, Sayu," he said unlocking the handcuff bracelets.

"You... You're letting me free for the night?"

"Not exactly. Lay down on the bed."

Sayu suddenly blemished. Mello rolled his eyes.

"Sayu, do you think that I'm some kind of savage? If I wanted to hurt you, I'd have done it by now. You were handcuffed and wearing only a towel when you walked out of the shower."

Mello tried to keep his tone low, but he suddenly felt offended by her innuendo and the insult burned so painfully that he couldn't keep calm. Soon, he would be up to an emotional outburst and talking much less kindly than he was supposed to, if he wanted for his plan to work.

"If I wanted to rape you, Sayu Yagami, I'd have done it earlier today, when you finished your shower. You'd be far less likely to fight, even if I could easily overpower you now as well, and you were practically naked. It'd have taken me much less time to tear down your towel than to tear down your clothes. And nobody would've cared about your screaming. Nobody would care even now, that I think of that!"

Too far. He went too far. And this was all uncalled for. She was silent now, silent and afraid. His overreactions will kill him one day, Mello thought. He took a deep breath and continued, in a calmer tone.

"You called for me when you were down in the cellar, so deep inside, you trusted me. I told your father that I'm not interested in taking your life, or his, for that matter. And in case you didn't notice, I've got some principles." he instinctively went for his rosary. "I promise that I won't hurt you. I got all the information that I wanted from you, I don't even need to scare you anymore."

"What information?" Sayu asked very weakly, before biting her lower lip and looking away, as if she said something she shouldn't have.

Mello pushed her shoulders gently, laying her down on the bed. She didn't say anything. He positioned her so she would occupy the left side of the bed. She moved along, without protesting, as a doll. He crouched beside the bed and looked at her profile. She was staring at the ceiling.

"Look at me," he said.

She turned her head slowly, slowly, slowly... As if in a dream. He didn't want to break the silence yet. He just wanted to look at her. And for her to look at him. She was pretty, he thought. Very different from any girl he's known. Not very hard when all the girls you've known were either tough mafia ladies or flashy prostitutes... When he was in the orphanage, he was still too young to care about girls. No... Not too young. His age had nothing to do with it. It was the situation he was in that took care of his mind being only occupied with work and results. He never really got the time for being involved with another human being. Up till now, at least. He must have smiled without realizing it, because now, Sayu smiled back. She wouldn't have smiled first... Not like this... She was returning the smile he just noticed that he was wearing on his face.

"I trust you," she whispered.

Mello then felt an impulse he never felt before. He outstretched his hand, he wanted to reach for her, to touch her, to cup her face, to run his fingers through her hair, he felt the need to realize a sort of contact with her, a contact very different from any other he's ever had. His other "contacts" were mostly violent, either inflicting pain, alone or with his mafia buddies, or occasionally even being on the receiving end of the pain, pain he gladly gave back even when he was overpowered. But now, it wasn't pain he wanted. What he wanted was tenderness. But how would a person who's only known pain and pain alone be able to give tenderness? He hugged her once, earlier that day. He remembered that. But then, it was merely to calm her down. Now, he really wanted it, with all his being. But he restrained. He pulled back his hand before he managed to touch Sayu and stood up. He moved to the footboard side and grabbed the shackles.

"I'm going to chain your feet to the bed to make sure you don't run away" he stated calmly.

"I wouldn't..." she started, but he stopped her.

"I don't know that," he said "I've been in a hostage position once and every single moment of my capture, I was thinking about how to leave. Even when it seemed much riskier than to stay where I was, because if the guards had caught me trying to escape, things would've gotten worse. You may have an insanity rush of that type during the night. You may even try to suffocate me with a pillow, but I can counter that. If you tried to escape, though, it's on one of the other men that you'd risk to meet, and that would be ugly."

"I wouldn't try to escape" was her simple, quiet response.

"I won't risk it," he chuckled before proceeding to change into his simple black pajamas.

What followed was a bizarre scene, one would think. To have a captor and a hostage sharing one same bed, turned towards each other, but not touching, trying to understand what was happening to them. The situation wasn't romantic, or at least wasn't supposed to be. Looking into each other's eyes before falling asleep would be beyond awkward, but turning their back to each other seemed somehow improper in the given situation. So they would try and turn their eyes away, or close them, pretending to sleep. And then, hoping that the other one was already asleep, they would slightly open their eyes and try to have a glimpse of the sleeping face of the one facing them. A strange situation as it is itself, even stranger was the feeling of comfort and peacefulness emanating from it. Mello's presence to Sayu, just as Sayu's presence to Mello had the calming air of a lullaby and they both drifted to their slumber.


	4. Angel's Tears

It had all been a dream, Sayu thought, her eyes still closed. Her body started to wake, but she kept her eyes shut. She always tried to avoid opening her eyes too abruptly upon waking. She preferred to keep still for a little while longer, to allow the last pictures of her dream to walk away at their rhythm and to wake up in peacefulness. If she opened her eyes now, the dream would disappear in a flash and she would never be able to remember it again.

And this dream, this dream, she didn't want to lose it.

It had started as a nightmare, though... She was drugged and kidnapped, grabbed by large hands of monstrous creatures and taken far away, miles from her home, and dumped in some damp and dark cellar. The monsters were huge, she remembered. They yelled at her and they beat her. She was terrified. At first.

And then he came to her. The angel. He smelled of chocolate... She could still feel his smell... With her eyes closed like that, breathing in the scent of the images from her dream... She could still feel it... He came and he rescued her. Like a princess from a medieval legend that would get rescued by a beautiful prince. She, Sayu, was rescued just like that. Only that her rescuer was not a prince in his right, but an angel from heaven. No prince would ever come to such a dark and devious place, no prince from legends would exist in our day and age and no prince would want to save a commoner. But an angel would! Angels see no difference between highborns and common people, angels do not care about the time or a place you live in. And an angel came to her.

Sayu got stolen away from the nest where the monsters breed and she rose up to the Angel's lair where he awaited her. He put magic bracelets on her, bracelets that would protect her from harm. Only, when she looked down on her arms, instead of gold and glittery dust, her wrists were attached with chains.

The angel did not come down from heaven to save her from the darkness. The darkness came back to their room and swallowed them both. She heard someone sobbing. She walked through the darkness, being able to move despite the heavy chains. The iron manacles were holding her around her right wrist at first. Or was it the left one? Then, her other wrist was imprisoned too. Then her feet. Then she saw an even larger one closing around her waist. Yet, despite the apparent heaviness of the shackles, she could walk without problems. The chains didn't hold her down. What were they attached to? She was able to walk around normally. Walking in the direction of the voice that she heard sobbing, weeping... Whispering. Yes. Whispering through his cries, in the darkness. Was she safe? How comes that she didn't feel the dread upon walking in a completely dark space, following the direction of cries and whispers?

Will you come back again? Asked the voice.

Again? How could she come back again when she didn't even know where she was? She had never been here before. But she answered yes. She will come back again.

As soon as she said that, two giant wings tore through the darkness. Their whiteness was so bright that it illuminated the dark space around her, propelled her back to heaven, back in the angel's lair. It was him again. The blonde angel who smelled of chocolate. Once they were back in his place, his wings disappeared. He smiled to her. He thanked her. Thanked for what? He was the one who had saved her. She smiled back to him, but when she was about to mutter her own thanks, he walked up to her and kissed her.

What a strange and pleasant dream it was, thought Sayu, feeling more and more awake, but still keeping her eyes closed. She didn't want to forget anything. No fragment of the dream should be lost... The noises, the scents, the sights... The angel... She wanted to remember his image in her head. She wanted to remember his face, his voice... She wanted to go back to the dream, so she would see him again, kiss him again, listen to his voice again... And touch his hair. His hair seemed to be made out of pure gold, and yet, she had the feeling that upon touch, it would be so soft... She would go back there, live through all that the monsters had done to her again and again and again, just to have the occasion to see the angel's face again. To kiss him just once again... And to touch his hair.

But then she felt the cold metal of the shackles on her ankles and realized that not everything has been a dream.

When she opened her eyes, she saw an empty pillow by her side. Mello was gone. Her angel had disappeared. She was afraid. She was terrified once again. She started to cry. At first silently, and then louder and louder, until the sound of her sobs became so distinct and almost melodic. With so much strength, that sound could become a disembodied entity with a life for itself...

Listen to my cries again...

Were those her own cries that she had heard in her dream? Did it even matter now? The dream was gone, the angel had disappeared forever, she was alone in this room, chained and left to die. Her cries started to sound hysterical. She would start screaming at any moment now. And when the fear and panic grew so strong that she thought that she would go mad if it lasted for a second longer, the door opened and someone entered the room.

"The sweet girl's awake," said a voice, "go and find him."

Sayu looked up and through the blur formed by her tears, she saw two women in garish clothes entering the room. One of them kneeled beside the bed, just next to her.

"It's all right, sweetheart", the one with curly brown hair and tanned skin said "Candy's gone to find Mello."

The woman smiled. Under layers of her heavy make-up, Sayu could see that she was pretty. She had a gentle voice... Sayu rubbed her eyes and looked at the woman again. How could one even wear so many colors on her face? If all that came to be washed away, the woman would not only be prettier, but she would look much younger too. How old was she anyways? Sayu looked around and saw another woman standing there, with fewer colors on her face, but her make-up still heavy. She was pale and her hair was slick and dark. It was only then that Sayu managed to take away her eyes from their caked-up faces and to notice their clothes. If there was any doubt left concerning the nature of their job amongst those men, now it was cleared. Sayu knew what they were. But instead of thinking that they may have come here to somehow turn her into one of them, Sayu just smiled.

"You aren't going to hurt me," she said. Since she came here, that was always the first thing that she would care about in a person.

"No, of course not", answered the one with the slick dark hair. She had a deep nasal voice, sharp as a knife. "You can call me Cat. This is Strawberry. Tell me, are you hungry, sweetie?"

"I... Ummm... Yes. Yes I am. You are kind to me... My name is Sayu."

The two prostitutes smiled to her and Cat ruffled her hair. The one with curly hair — Strawberry... What sort of name was it? — took her phone out and called someone.

"Candy, sugar? Yeah... The sweet girl's hungry. Bring some food up here, will ya? Yeah... Okay."

She ended the call and smiled again. They smiled a lot, Sayu observed. How were they able to keep the smile on their face with the kind of life they led? Sayu had been here for only one day and she could already feel her sanity leaving her... These women could only be made of pure steel. Moments later, there was a knock on the door.

"It's Candy and I've gotten us all sandwiches!" she spoke behind the door.

Cat walked over to the door and opened it. Only when she saw the full plate of sandwiches, Sayu realized how hungry she was.

"There, I brought us some drinks too." Candy took some cans of soda and fruit juice from the plastic bag she had brought with her.

Strawberry unlocked the chains around Sayu's ankles as the two other girls were disposing the food on the small table.

"There, now you can go to the bathroom before you pee yourself," she said.

"You trust me not to try to escape?" Sayu asked.

"Honey, there's no way for you to escape," chuckled Cat, "Thee of us to guard you, door locked, and if you get out of this room, you're sure as hell not to get out of the place... Our men will take care of it."

"Oh, I haven't locked the door!" said Candy with a curious joy in the tone. She had a very high-pitched voice, yet despite its pitch, the voice had some sexiness in it. "There's no need. She won't escape. Not all our men are like hers!"

Sayu suddenly felt something sink in her stomach. Angel...

"Where is he?" she asked.

"Pretty Blondie? He said he will come in an hour or so... Has some business to fix with the boss... Making their plan again or so."

"Hey there Candy, if he heard you calling him Pretty Blondie..." started Cat.

"He wouldn't do anything." said Candy with conviction, "He's good to us girls. Never hurt one... See how he's treating this one here!"

She meant her, Sayu realized. Candy was looking in her direction, smiling like they always did.

"Well, you no longer want to pee?" asked Strawberry.

Sayu just nodded and went to the bathroom.

While in the shower, she was thinking about what has been happening to her. Strawberry insisted that Sayu leaves the door open, so that they can come and check on her while she's washing herself. They were strange, these girls... Strange, but kind... Or did they seem kind to her because she was held hostage and yet, she was allowed more or less a normal situation. They brought her food, they let her bathe... And nobody was mistreating her...

They were! she remembered. They were mistreating her, just one day ago... A day that seemed a century ago... A day that seemed part of another life... She was afraid back then. She thought that she would die. But an angel has come and rescued her from the depths of hell, leading her to the highest skies of heaven...

She went out of the shower. She needed food. Or else she would start hallucinating yet again, only this time, it wouldn't be because of drugs, but from hunger.

He had never hurt a girl. Strawberry told how he defended her when she was found shaking in a corner, being beaten by a man who was once in the mafia. That man had died shortly after, during a raid... These prostitutes really seemed to love Mello, thought Sayu. But they said that he was making them frustrated, for he never got intimate with them. Cat was complaining out loud about it, saying how she would gladly get naked with him, how she had been with all the mafia members but the prettiest... And then she laughed. Sayu shrugged. These girls were only human beings. And Mello was an angel. An angel would never get intimate with anyone, let alone with a human. But then she remembered her dream... She kissed an angel in her dream... She kissed him, she kissed her angel in her dream. Or rather, he was the one who kissed her.

The door opened. Sayu had been staring at the table where she had eaten with the girls for quite a moment, she now realized. "Bye Sayu," she heard them say. One of them kissed her on the cheek and another one said that she liked her. But now they were out and the door closed. Sayu turned around. Her angel was in the room with her.

Some color was back to her cheeks, thought Mello. The girls have treated her kindly. He noticed the lack of handcuffs around her wrists. He sighed. Well, the prostitutes too have figured out that there was no need for that.

"How are you, Sayu?" he asked in what he tried to make sound like a casual tone. She couldn't know that he's had a conversation with the Task Force just a couple minutes ago and that Snyder had talked to her father. Her father was now on his way. They agreed to give him his daughter back in exchange of the Death Note two days from now. They assured chief Soichiro that his daughter was just fine and that they weren't treating her harshly. This was actually true, when you think of it. Mello had never treated a hostage this kindly, as far as he could remember. Then again, most of their hostages were men... If they had ever held any girl hostage, it was before Mello joined this mafia crew. And none of them had called him "angel". Mello grinned at the thought, without even realizing it. Upon noticing that Sayu was smiling back, he shook his head and called her closer. In reality, he felt sorry for her. Not only because she had become an object to trade by being kidnapped and dragged into this situation, not only because her brother might as well be the Kira, but also because of that look in her eye. And her smile. He was her kidnapper, the one who ordered her kidnapping, more precisely, and yet, she always seemed so happy upon seeing him. He didn't do anything to deserve it; he was simply not torturing her. And torture was probably what she had imagined upon seeing her captors... It was really sad how she had come to rejoice the lack of cruelty, even if no real cruelty has been done to her, at least according to Mello.

"Sayu, why are you so happy?" he heard himself ask.

She answered with a question. "Can I touch your hair," she said.

Mello was taken aback by that. That, and the fact that she was now walking towards him, cautiously and carefully. The girl has been behaving strangely from the beginning and there was always the risk that she would go crazy. She seemed weak like that. For some reason, he reached for the handcuffs that stood on the chest of drawers next to him. When Sayu got close enough, he grabbed her hand, pulled her closer, and handcuffed her hand to his own, much too hastily. She apparently took it for a scold. The chain of the handcuffs being long enough, she pulled away and sat on the bed, looking at the carpet. Mello sat next to her and took her hand in his own. Once again, he didn't know the reason for this, but he knew, he just knew that it was the right thing to do, that this would bring the necessary memories to him...

Memories...

Angel...

There was something... There was something here and he needed to find out what it was, and what did it have to do with Sayu Yagami and with her thinking that he's an angel.

"Sayu?" Mello started, not exactly having any plan, but knowing that the answer was close.

Sayu raised her eyes towards Mello's. Mello still held her hand in his own. Not leaving her gaze, he pulled her hand to his hair and felt her fingers sink inside his locks.

When she started caressing his hair and when she said "You are an angel" with her hands in his hair, Mello remembered.

Mello's eyes widened.

"Say it again!" It was here... The answer was here! "Say it... Again... Please."

And so she did and Mello leaned on her. As Sayu was passing her fingers through his hair, he found himself lying on her shoulder, shaking. He knew... He knew what he was trying to find out with her... He remembered.

"My beautiful angel..." Sayu said again. Was she crazy or no had stopped mattering. God... An angel... An angel!

Mello let his body slide down and laid his head on her lap. He didn't care if he looked pathetic. It didn't matter. He dragged his legs on the bed, laying in fetal position while the girl who was supposed to be his hostage was stroking his hair and whispering to him. Angel... Angel... He curled even more, praying for this moment to never come to an end. Angel... He knew that the feeling that this word made run through his body was no accident... Angel, angel, angel... And the way she stroke his hair... Angel... This girl, Sayu... Once upon a time, another woman had stroked his hair this way and called him her angel... Once... Years and years ago... He could only remember her through a blur, not even knowing what her face looked like anymore. But when she held him and called him her dearest little angel, he would feel safe. From the first moment that Sayu had called him her angel, he knew that he had to restore the memory that was linked to that word. He knew that there was a memory linked to it, he just didn't remember what memory it was at first. But now, he knew.

Mello's mother was taken from him much too early. In a horrible way. So horrible that he would try to forget it. He would push the memory so deep into the darkest corners of his mind that everything related to it would begin to fade. At first, he didn't want to forget the woman who gave him life, but the memory of their separation was so painful that it dragged along in the darkness everything related to his mother. He had forgotten her face, her voice, he had forgotten the words that she had spoken to him, he had forgotten the feel of her touch, a touch of tenderness in his hair... Up till now. And now, all these years later, now that he became a completely different man from the little boy that he had once been, those long-forgotten words came to him again. They were spoken to him first by a terrified girl, not as words of motherly love or the one who will provide protection, but in the voice of one who sought protection. Sayu saw in him the one who will make her feel safe. Maybe that was why he wanted so, why he longed so to help her out... Maybe it is because now, it was his turn to save somebody from a life-long trauma. Or maybe, maybe it was his way of honoring the memory of the one who gave him life, the one that he couldn't have helped... He will honor her by helping someone else. Someone who saw him as an angel as well...

Mello didn't care that tears were building up in his eyes and he didn't care when they began to escape, leaking over his cheeks and dripping on Sayu's lap. He didn't care about how she was supposed to be his hostage and how he was supposed to be strong and imposing in front of her. It didn't matter. Nothing of the kind mattered anymore. He finally understood that emotion that awoke in him when she first called him an angel. He now knew where it came from. And now, he would never let it go again. He took her other hand — the one on which she wore a handcuff — into his own. She was still stroking his hair with her free hand and he prayed God and all the saints he could think of that she never stops. An angel... Him? The thought would have been ridiculous in any other situation, but now... Now that he remembered where it came from... He felt as if she was the angel that God sent to him to help him remember something that no man should ever forget. Mello now felt silly for ever having thought of Sayu as weak, for now he was the one sobbing in her embrace and she was the protective hand... In this moment, Sayu was his angel.


	5. The Purgatory

Chapter 5 : The Purgatory

He hadn't thought about his family for a long time. He tried to forget them from that moment when Wammy found him and brought him to the orphanage. His struggle to beat Near there helped him push the horrors that he's seen, or rather heard, done to his parents deep down in his subconscious. But one day or another, they were bound to resurface again...

He could hear the knock on the door again. His father giving that one look to his mother, the look that made his mother grab him and run upstairs. He remembered how his mother always used to hold him carefully, how he thought her unbreakable, able to protect even the most vulnerable entity... But that one time, he felt her panicked. She was running too fast, her hands hurting his skin where she was holding him. Before they even reached the door of the room above, they heard a shot.

"Check upstairs, they say he has a woman," a voice said, coming from the floor just beneath.

Mello's mother tossed him in a closet. She kissed him on the forehead one last time and gave him a rosary that she always wore around her neck.

"You're young." she told him, her voice shaking. "God will protect you. I know He will. But as for me... No matter what happens, promise me that you won't go out."

"But mom..."

"Promise me."

"I... I promise."

They heard footsteps on the stairs. Mello's mother buried him beneath all the clothes that she could find. When she closed the door of the closet, it was as if she had disappeared forever. A couple moments later, Mello heard the door of the room opening.

"Wow, wow, wow! Not only he had a woman, the filthy bastard, but a damn fine one at that!" a raspy voice said.

"Must've been a good wife," said another man, who sounded as if he was chewing something.

"Yup... But she's his wife no more!" said the first one again.

"Let's see how good she'll be to us then!"

Mello heard struggle, he heard furniture moving and his mother protesting. She seemed so close to ask them to stop, to beg for mercy, but she didn't. He heard the two men laughing and then the sound of a body falling on a hard surface. He heard more laughter, then the sound of a zipper being undone, a couple of gasps and his mother... He heard her scream. Once. Twice. Three times. Four times... Then once more. Then once again. Again and again. He heard her gasp and moan and cry. He heard the two men laugh. He heard one of them uttering a satisfying sigh, and then the other one almost immediately saying "Okay, my turn now!" and then, the nightmare began once again. His mother was screaming, and Mello felt the urge to get out of the closet and hurt those men, hurt them so badly that they would never get up. But he was forbidden to do that. His mother made him promise. The only thing that he could do then was to pray. He clutched his rosary into his hands and held it so tightly that his palm started to bleed. He probably fainted shortly after.

"They had a child." he heard an undefined voice when he woke up.

"Dear God! What sort of monster would do this to a family?"

"Well, the husband did hold quite a risky position..."

"Shut up! Give me the bag in which I can put this..."

"We need to find their son."

"Have you looked in the other room?"

"Yup!"

"And in this one? Is he hiding in a..."

The closet door opened and Mello fell along with the clothes. He saw blurry shapes of what must have been people looking down on him. He felt two arms passing under his body and a hand touching his forehead.

"Are medical services downstairs?" one voice asked.

"How long since he's last eaten?"

"We seem to be having a case of a severely traumatized child here..."

"I wonder what will become of him later..."

Mello felt himself travel from hands to hands before fainting once again. When he woke up, he was in a hospital. The first days, Mello ate very little, talking to nobody, barely even sleeping. Various doctors tried to speak to him, but it was unsuccessful. Until one of them, a woman who would have looked very much like his mother if only her hair was blonde, found a way to make him react. The fact that Mello liked her might have helped, but her method was flawless by itself: she would be giving him mathematical and logical exercise. Stimulating his brain in other ways, keeping his mind focused on something else, helped him forget the things that he heard done to his family. Soon enough, Mello ended up in a nearby orphanage, where he quickly became the most brilliant child that the place has ever had. Not even a month later, Wammy came to collect him.

Quillsh Wammy held an orphanage for particularly gifted children in Winchester. And he had taken the plane from England to come for Mello. Apparently, he thought that Mello had "what it took" to be accepted in Wammy's house... Quite frankly, that entire story seemed odd to Mello and he couldn't help eyeing suspiciously the old man who had come for him.

The man looked as if he had always been old. He had white hair and a white mustache and quite a dapper look to himself. He seemed different from everything that Mello had known up till then, but yet, despite having found him suspicious at first, his presence made Mello feel comfortable. The man smiled and didn't force Mello to speak when he didn't feel like it. Yet he made it clear that children in his orphanage were all little geniuses, and that Mello would have to work very hard if he wanted to remain there. Mello drank every single one of his words, promising to himself that he will do whatever it takes to be the best one. It was then that the young Mihael Keehl would take the name Mello. As for the rest, Mello didn't mind leaving his old orphanage. He hadn't made any real bonds with other children anyway. Wammy's was a new chance for him, a new place to start from. It was in an entirely different country, far, far away from the place where Mello's parents were murdered. As the plane was moving away from Mello's home country and closer to England, Mello felt his pain diminish. It was as if he was leaving behind all the suffering and all the horrors that he has witnessed at such a young age.

The memories stayed buried deep inside of his head. He never forgot his mother language, but he forgot his mother. He forgot his father. He forgot his entire family. Letting go of the personal memories was the only way to heal the agony in his soul. Yet, with or without the memories, he was still shaped by what he had survived.

Once, when he was walking down the corridor of the Wammy's house, he heard a girl scream. What was happening is that some boys were having fun with her hair clips, taking them from her, pinching her arms with it, and sometimes, hiding them from her when she wouldn't be watching. Mello didn't know what happened prior to the scream, but hearing that high-pitched noise sent shivers through his body and he intervened. He wrecked the place, hurt the two boys and if Mister Roger didn't come as fast, who knows what else would have Mello done to them.

He remembered that it took a while to Roger to calm him down after that.

Socializing with other children wasn't that hard. Finding a place for himself to fit in wasn't hard either... He had excellent grades and was the second best child in the orphanage. Second... Second to a little twit they all called Near. That kid frustrated him to no end. He was the perfect opposite of Mello, silent as a ghost when Mello was loud, calm when Mello was wild, peaceful when Mello would be violent... That was another flaw that Roger and Wammy — and at one moment even L! — would incessantly point out about Mello. They would say that he was destructive and violent, never one for controlling his emotions. And yet, Mello would never hurt girls.

Girls always appreciated him. He was always good to them and would even play the white knight when he would see somebody mistreating a girl in the orphanage. That habit followed him later on, when he left the orphanage and found himself in the mafia.

All of the girls in this very crew were on his side. He had helped many of them himself, at one moment or another. The simple thought of a girl being abused in any way would awake something terrifying in his mind, something that threatened to bring back the memories he has buried long ago and that his subconscious decided to keep hidden forever. Those memories were not supposed to resurface. And his actions assured them to remain hidden.

Even his looks could be seen as one of the manners in which his mind sought to protect itself. His clothes, that were supposed to make him look tough, still had such an unmistakably feminine touch. He purposefully let his hair grow long and his figure was slender... And looking the way that he did, he felt better at the idea of being able to protect himself than he would have had he looked manlier. He did not want to remember, he did not remember, but the frustration and the guilt of not having been able to protect the one who gave him life would manifest themselves in various and odd manners.

His hair was softer than Sayu could ever imagine that hair could be. Most people she knew had thick and dark hair that seemed indestructible. Mello's hair was much thinner, and that somehow made it more beautiful to Sayu's eyes. And she had never seen a natural blonde in real life before. His brother's girlfriend dyed her hair, and despite the dye, Misa's hair retained its thickness and sharpness. Mello's hair was soft. And when she removed it from his face, Sayu noticed that Mello's cheeks were streaked with tears.

"What happened to my angel?" she asked, wiping one tear from Mello's face.

Suddenly, she was struck with the impression that she had broken some sort of spell. Mello gave a start, got up hastily, and seemed mortified upon realizing that they were still handcuffed. When he raised his gaze towards Sayu, he looked as if it was the first time he had seen her. There was an expression of shock on his face, mingled with a strange sort of sadness that Sayu could feel emanating from his eyes.

"Mello..." she started, and only when the word had passed her mouth, she realized that she didn't call him "angel" this time.

And yet he smiled.

"Mello," he said, still smiling, and a hand of his caressed her face. "To you, I'm Mello."

He took a key from the cupboard and opened their handcuffs. The chains fell heavily on the floor.

"I will miss you when you leave," said Mello, and Sayu thought that she could see a shade of a single tear in his left eye. He turned away and walked towards the door.

"Come to me again, angel!" said Sayu, as if under a state of trance.

"You can call me Mello. We are close now. Hell, I cried on your lap!" he said and walked out of the room.

"You're still an angel to me..." muttered Sayu so softly, that she wondered if he had even heard her before the door closed.

How long had it been since he walked out and closed the door behind him? Five minutes? An hour? Half a day? Time had become irrelevant. Sayu sat there where Mello had left her, singing softly to herself and imagining his figure crossing the door and walking up to her.

When the door opened, however, the one standing in its frame was not Mello, but Cat.

"Why hello, sweet one!" she said with her sharp nasal voice. "Feelin' lonely? Your man has come down all shaken and right now he's indulging in sweet, sweet chocolate. What you done to him?"

"I... N...nothing" muttered Sayu before she started to cry out of nowhere.

"Aw come on, sweet one!" said Cat sitting next to her and taking her in her arms. She wore a strong perfume that made Sayu's head dizzy, but the hug helped her feel better. "So... You wanna tell Cat what happened here? Don't you worry, sweet one, you can trust us girls!"

"News for Sayu!...right?" said a happy high-pitched voice.

"Aw, Candy, we were having a moment here!" answered Cat.

Sayu got her head up and saw Candy and Strawberry standing by the entrance of the room. When they walked in, Strawberry closed the door behind them.

"I'm gonna break this out to her," said Strawberry and as soon as she said that, Candy's face darkened and Cat got up from the place next to Sayu, nervously chewing her lip. Sayu was confused for a moment before Strawberry sat at the spot that was previously occupied by Cat.

"Honey, there's big news for you," Strawberry said with a motherly tone. "The deal's been concluded. Your life's gonna go well for you. Tomorrow, your dad comes to fetch you."

The prostitutes seemed genuinely happy for Sayu. Yet, when she heard the news, she felt her insides break like glass. She felt as if she was going to choke. She saw the prostitutes' faces go from happy to worried as she was suffocating, before she finally managed to let out a long cry.

"Honey... Are you all right? Sweet one? Sweet one!"

Which one was talking? It didn't even matter. Sayu was crying through screams, trying to mutter some words through her sobs.

"He will... Take me away... Angel!... I will never see my angel... Oh God, what have I done to deserve this? Why... Why?"

"Hey, what's wrong sweety? Aren't you happy?" asked Candy.

"You don't understand..." sobbed Sayu, "I... I want to stay with my angel... My... Angel... He... He saved me, I... I can't leave him!"

"Honey, what you talkin' about?" asked Strawberry. "You oughta be elated!"

"No... No! No I don't want to!" Sayu was still sobbing, getting more irrational with every word. "I don't want to go! I want to stay! Stay forever! My angel... He's good to me! He needs me like I need him! My angel... We can't part like this! We can't part yet... Not like this... Not like this... I don't want to go..."

"Sweet one... Your place is not here. Now Mello's maybe good to you, but this life ain't." said Cat, rolling her eyes.

"She's right," said Candy. "You're not like us. You have a family and friends and all and your dreams aren't all broken up and sunken yet, or just a little... You can still go to school and go to the university and even and work like you fair people do. You ain't made to be a whore." She finished with a smile.

Sayu was shocked "I never meant to be a...a..."

"And what else do you think you could become here? A perpetual prisoner?" asked Strawberry. It was the first time that Strawberry's tone was not sugary. Sayu suddenly found that woman so impressive that she would gladly obey her every word. Strawberry smiled once again, albeit with more determination, and finally said — "If you can't pull a gun, you can open your legs, that's how things go in our world. Are you willing to do either?"

"N...no."

"Then be happy you gonna go back to your family."

"And if you want your separation different than now, might as well try and seduce him. I don't know if he's interested by us girls, but you're more innocent, he might want you, for a change." said Cat sending Sayu a little wink.

She had barely finished the sentence when they heard the doorknob turning. The one who entered this time was Rod Ross. Rod Ross hadn't really do anything to Sayu personally, but being the boss, he was most certainly the one giving orders. He had a cold and emotionless stare that sent chills through Sayu's spine and made the tears froze in her eyes. After scrutinizing her for several endless seconds, he turned his attention to the prostitutes.

"So there you are, you three! Did you need to go here all together? Who's to entertain me if you're all up there? Now leave this miserable creature and come down with me right now!"

After saying that, Rod Ross just turned around and walked out of the room without as much as a second glance to Sayu. The prostitutes followed, but each one of them turned around to give Sayu one last smile or one last wink.

Mello came into the room shortly after. Sayu's face was still red from crying and her attempts to cover it in front of Mello failed miserably.

"You have been crying? Has... Has someone else come to this room? Ross? Was Rod Ross here?" he started to sound panicked.

"Yes. He came for Strawberry, Cat and Candy. They left..." Sayu tried to sound calm, but tears threatened to come back.

Mello sighed with relief. "So nobody hurt you?" he asked.

"No..." she said.

"Good... You know that you return home tomorrow?" Mello put a hand on Sayu's shoulder.

And so it all overwhelmed her once again. She started crying hysterically, clutching at Mello's clothes.

"Sayu..."

At first, Sayu's emotional outburst lost Mello for a couple of moments. But soon enough he took her into his arms and allowed her to cry for as long as she wanted. Sayu was tempted to scream that she didn't want to leave, that she couldn't go away without her angel, but she remembered the voice of the three prostitutes and what they told her. Besides, she was drugged, kidnapped and dragged into this place. It had all been a great shock for her mind and her organism, and having someone being kind to her in this sort of hell, the prostitutes, the angel, made her feel dependent on them, and lost without. In this moment, she was desperately clutching to Mello because he was to her a ray of light in this place of fear and darkness. Losing him, even if it was to return to a place where no such darkness as this one even exists, still seemed as a loss of a ray of light to her. But she struggled not to speak any of those feelings up. So she simply whispered "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too, Sayu," he said.

"I will remember you as my angel... Always... Always..." she got in closer to his hug, closer to his face.

"And you will be mine," he said before taking her face in his hands and deposing a small kiss on her lips.

After that, Mello hugged Sayu tighter and she buried her head into his neck, continuing to weep silently. They stayed like that for a part of the night, in embrace, Sayu's fingers in Mello's hair, Mello's arms around her body, barely moving. They wanted to keep this moment in their memory forever. They would have wanted to hold on to the feel of each other for as long as they could, yet that one brief kiss was the only intimacy they had shared.

When they woke up the next day, they got ready in silence and descended in the hall. They parted with a brief glance and a final "Goodbye, Sayu Yagami" by Mello. After that, he went away and let her in the hands of some of the brutes from the mafia, to accompany her to the exit. She thought that she had heard him threaten somebody, saying that he doesn't want her to lack a hair from her head, but in all honesty, Sayu didn't even care anymore. She was no longer intimidated by the huge men around her. She was no longer afraid. She was at best indifferent to them. She was already becoming indifferent to everything else in the world. For the first time in her life, Sayu had been truly in love and her romance ended before it even started. Maybe it was better this way. Everything in this place was disturbing and there was no room for sincere feelings to grow when suffocated with the ambient fear and violence.

When she was shown the exit and when she was told how to get out, she followed the directions without flinching. Hearing her father's voice made her feel relieved, but yet, she noticed the lack of enthusiasm within herself. Something had broken inside her. Her mind was to be tarnished from the moment she was thrown into the nest where the monsters breed and she left the better part of her heart to one that she met here. The one who had saved her from the cellar of hell and brought her up to heaven, up to his place, up to the angel's lair.


End file.
